"Be with her because you actually want to be with her, because you actually see a potential future with her, not because you are used to being with her, not because you’re scared of the thought that being without them will ruin you. The point of being in a relationship is to enjoy each other’s company, is to be there to support each other when they need it most. No one person, defines who you are. They only compliment you."
“when the sun goes down the light reflects off the glass and it looks like the buildings are on fire”
(Source: chrisidk, via cestlavieparis)
Are you ok? Sending love
ANON I am okay, everyone has their moments just :)
and last night was one of them
I finally admitted to something I’ve been ignoring for many years now, it’s scary and, in some ways relieving.
I’m at the scared moment right now though because there’s always the worry it will come back.
I let myself admit to it even though you ignored it - this isn’t me being selfish, or stupid. I thought you would be able to see but you couldn’t. Oh I tried you’ve no idea how I tried to say but the words stuck in my mouth. You couldn’t really hear my pleas, could you? I was too evasive, not blunt enough yet I said all the key words, the triggers. At the end of it, you just left me by myself really.
That’s why I’m okay - you left me when I needed you, you didn’t see what I needed you to. Why couldn’t you see? I have to be okay really, what else am I to do? I’m angry and shocked and so hurt. Why does this always happen to me? I feel so betrayed. I tried and you just left me.
I won’t let you make me feel selfish I won’t let you make me feel insignificant I won’t let you make me feel like my emotions and thoughts aren’t real. They are. They are. I know they are.
"Wake up every morning and tell yourself that you’re a bad ass bitch from hell and that no one can fuck with you and then don’t let anybody fuck with you."
Greek Gold Wreath of Oak Leaves and Flowers, possibly from Attica, Greece, late 2nd - early 1st century BC
In ancient Greece, oak leaves symbolized wisdom, and were associated with Zeus, who according to Greek mythology made his decisions while resting in an oak grove.
Gold wreaths such as this one derive their form from wreaths of real leaves worn in religious ceremonies or given as prizes in athletic and artistic contests. Because of their fragility, gold wreaths were probably not meant to be worn. They were dedicated to the gods in sanctuaries and placed in graves as funerary offerings. Although known in earlier periods, gold wreaths became much more frequent in the Hellenistic age, probably due in large part to the greatly increased availability of gold in the Greek world following the eastern conquests of Alexander the Great.
(Source: historymuseum.ca, via cestlavieparis)
#is this happiness?
#very long post
I’m not one to post personal things often but…
Right now I don’t even know how to describe my life. I can’t believe how things are planning out. Everything seems to be getting better.
I’m improving in my playing, my confidence is growing, I’m not as stressed and I’m surrounding myself with the most amazing people.I really think this is a turning point for me.
I’m part of two quartets, one which we had a booking for, and after a successful performance we’ve been asked back by the hotel to perform at events (paid might I add) and the other which will be performing in May time.
I’ve had countless concerts recently, which just keep getting better. I can’t even start on that side of things… Not to mention that I’ve been appointed part of the music committee next year (Outreach Coordinator - majorly great experience that I’m interested in - and Concert Manager)
Even my work seems to be going well (mostly) and I’m improving constantly.
Another big thing recently has been the barbershop chorus which just makes me indescribably happy. Even better that in May I am going to Harrogate with them to support the guys chorus at the BARBERSHOP CONVENTION! Essentially it will consist of singing, cheering and drunkenly singing tags all weekend surrounded by amazing, talented and happy people. It’s one of the warmest and exciting atmospheres I’ve ever experienced. I’m extremely excited to be their Social Secretary for next year and getting even more involved with everything.
Essentially, I dunno where I would be right now if it wasn’t for everyone here in Manchester. I’m picking myself up from what was a pretty rough time recently and coming out so much better. I’m extremely proud of myself. I don’t generally tell people about what’s going on, or really explain to them because, really it’s hard to and a lot of the time it’s difficult to even describe. Still, as things elapsed I forced myself to get up and move on, and it’s worked out. Everyone has been there for me (and more than they realise because there are more things I’ve only alluded to).
I just feel extremely thankful right now, and I had to say how happy I am. I can’t quite believe the major change around I’ve created within myself.
Sorry for the long post.
"Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down."
- You are stronger than you realise.
- You are crueller than you realise.
- The smallest words will break your heart.
- You will change. You’re not the same person you were three years ago. You’re not even the same person you were three minutes ago and that’s okay. Especially if you don’t like the person you were three minutes ago.
- People come and go. Some are cigarette breaks, others are forest fires.
- You won’t like your name until you hear someone say it in their sleep.
- You’ll forget your email password but ten years from now you’ll still remember the number of steps up to his flat.
- You don’t have to open the curtains if you don’t want to.
- Never stop yourself texting someone. If you love them at 4 a.m., tell them. If you still love them at 9.30 a.m., tell them again.
- Make sure you have a safe place. Whether it’s the kitchen floor or the Travel section of a bookshop, just make sure you have a safe place.
- You will be scared of all kinds of things, of spiders and clowns and eating alone, but your biggest fear will be that people will see you the way you see yourself.
- Sometimes, looking at someone will be like looking into the sun. Sometimes someone will look at you like you are the sun. Wait for it.
- You will learn how to sleep alone, how to avoid the cold corners but still fill a bed.
- Always be friends with the broken people. They know how to survive.
- You can love someone and hate them, all at once. You can miss them so much you ache but still ignore your phone when they call.
- You are good at something, whether it’s making someone laugh or remembering their birthday. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that these things don’t matter.
- You will always be hungry for love. Always. Even when someone is asleep next to you you’ll envy the pillow touching their cheek and the sheet hiding their skin.
- Loneliness is nothing to do with how many people are around you but how many of them understand you.
- People say I love you all the time. Even when they say, ‘Why didn’t you call me back?’ or ‘He’s an asshole.’ Make sure you’re listening.
- You will be okay.
- You will be okay.